Forgiveness: The Gift You Give Yourself

“Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet on the heel who crushed it”

The importance of forgiveness in one’s life cannot be understated. Many people live there lives hating people or events from their past, allowing these things to cloud their present day experience.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It is the right to be free, to not allow anyone or any thing from the past to bind you in your current actions.

By forgiving someone, you aren’t saying that what they did was right in any way. What you are doing is allowing yourself to move forward from the situation, acknowledging that what happened has past.

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”

Yes, holding onto anger or resentment towards someone may help us be prepared for the future so that we don’t suffer the same fate again. But I find it much easier to accept the lesson itself and leave the anger/resentment behind. This is entirely possible, we just have to be willing to let go of the hatred that we feel justified in holding.

Holding a grudge against someone for a past event does not effect the other person in any way- it only effects you.

We all have lesson to learn while we’re on this earth. Sometimes, these lessons also include the things we don’t want to experience. Once the lesson is learned, there is no need to continue holding on to the things that caused you to learn this lesson. You can live your life knowing this lesson has been learned, but free yourself of the need to attack the perpetrators in your mind.

There is an almost satisfied feeling that comes when you hold onto resentment, like you’re getting back at the other person for what they did. But I want you to be aware of something… You’re not getting back at them. There is nothing that your thoughts can do to effect the other person in this scenario. You are only hurting yourself and living in confined thoughts of the past.

From a personal development perspective it is necessary, in order to grow, that we focus our thoughts on the present moment.

In order for you to achieve your highest potential in the present moment, your focus must be on the present. You have to be concerned with the present-day actions you are taking in order to further develop your future.

One of the most liberating things you can do for yourself is to free the people of the chains that they have on your mind. When you resent someone for long periods of time, this is a form of control that you actually allow them to have on your reality. Forgiveness is the act of breaking these chains they have over you, allowing yourself to be freed of the a victim mentality.

The only person you have really caged is yourself. You are no longer allowing your true essence to reign free because you are influenced by these past situations.

When you are free of the victim mentality, you are in a much more resourceful place- a state of mind that allows you to see all of the opportunities you would have otherwise missed. The goal for anyone on this path is really to become who they were meant to be. The goal is to live your life’s purpose, to your highest potential.

If you allow the toxic poison of a grudge to influence your present mind, you are putting a filter over the light that is shining inside of you.

Here are some quotes from Maya Angelou that I find absolutely epitomize Forgiveness:

If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being”

“You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self. … The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. ”

Please Remember this the next time you find it hard to practice forgiveness: Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

Recommended Books on the art of Forgiveness: Radical Forgiveness and A Course In Miracles (This particular book is very deep.. very hard to grasp.. but powerful)

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